I Must Say

(04.26.09)
I will walk to your funeral
In my nicest dress,
Carrying the prettiest flowers
You’d never pick for me.
I will begin to count my blessings
One by one
And when I'm done
I will count on you no more.
It seems as though
I lost myself
In the way you used to toss me around
And I was always nowhere
To be found among the messes that you made.
Always waking to your screams
Of a nightmare you never lived
And I can no longer count myself
Accountable for the pain I did not bring myself.
I will skip the steps
You made me miss
And I will begin to ascend
To a greater height
Of a magnitude you'd never dream.
And I will hold my own hand
As I look down upon the place
That's now so far from me
And I will press them to my heart,
Because only I look out for me.
And in my time
I will find a heart to press unto,
But though my heart has not found that heart,
It no longer beats for you.