Barbed Wire Run Around

(08.31.09)
Bright lights
caress the city.
Beauty in it's watchful eyes.
Hold me down
and make me witness
Such dangerous intent in what
You meant when you told me
that you loved me.
Like sunshine floating over my skin.
I'm too pale for this.
I need fluorescence and
Grossly clean white tiles
to put me at ease.
Don't put smudges on my world.
I need to paint a mask on
all of this
Before
I step into the sunshine.
Don't let me burn.

Pieces.

(08.29.09)
I want to believe in
A dream that means more
to me than textbook answers.
I don't feel my heart is in my life.
---
I wish I could rent a billboard
to throw my thoughts upon.
Then no one has to ask me how
I really feel because
Everyone who drives by would know
how scared I feel inside.
---
I think I wish I could
create a masterpiece
to give the world.
---
I don't think I cry enough to try.
---
Where am I going?
-Nowhere I intended to be.
---
I close my eyes
Count to ten
Then back to one.
Never enough time
To settle my mind.
---
I wish I still painted pictures with words.
---
Lost inside
my own demands.
---

Am Ill Ion.

(082709)

I swear it feels as if

I walked along a road for quite some time

And didn’t really know which way I should be headed

But kept on walking

Anyway.

And I think my mind went blank a few miles back

And I hurried to make memories

That would last me lifetime

But not matter a day.

And I put my heart into things

I really don’t know

Only to come out with an understanding

That myself is not what matters

To another.

And some days I look at the sky

And I think there must be something wonderful

Waiting for me there,

Because I like to think it’s all a miracle

And we’re all indespensible

In a way that makes us real

To someone so intangible.

I want to shake the world awake

And tell everyone that it’s okay

To not know which way to go,

But to keep on going anyway.